Unique Gifts Blog - Ooonique!

I think there should be a Single's Day holiday -- since there's V-day for couples. As Mr. Oscar Wilde says: "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."

Anyway, I received a forwarded e-mail from a friend long ago. These are some of the entries to a Washington Post Competition. The contest asked for a rhyme with the most romantic first line, but least romantic second line.

Caustic witticism. Enjoy!


Stock Vector: I Heart Evil

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Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, cause I was pissed

Roses are red, violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet, and so are you
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes --
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

Every time I see your face
I wish I were in outer space

I saw your face as you walked by
but then I saw a better guy

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life

I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming

My love, you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you, no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.